


Below his ribs, an universe

by Anonymous



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Gen, Introspection, M/M, One-Sided Attraction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-03
Updated: 2018-02-03
Packaged: 2019-03-12 21:14:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13555707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: He's still in Moscow when he realizes: he is in love with Nicklas.Of course he'd known before that he's in love with him. That had, after all, happened the second he'd seen him. But it's in Moscow when he realizes what that will mean for him, his life.





	Below his ribs, an universe

**Author's Note:**

> My first fic for the Hockey Fandom!   
> I haven't watched a match so far, but kinda semi-follow hockey blogs and, well, both Nicklas Bäckström and Aleksandr Ovechkin somehow managed to get their special place in my heart. So, I tried my hands at a small fic about them, to give something back to all the great authors who write about them :)

It hits him in Moscow. 

Not the being in love thing. That, he had been the second he’d seen Nicke. Had seen him and that had been it – his heart has been doing weird things around him ever since. He’s even realized all of it already, has come to terms with it. Considerable feat, with Nicke being so close all the time.

No, in Moscow he realizes what that will mean. For the rest of his life. 

Even if the next morning he’d wake up without any feelings for Nicklas, just like that, by chance or by magic. Even if he’d never move back to America, even if he’d stay in Moscow forever, even if he never looked at Nicke again –

Stupid, of course, because he’s not blind, and he knows himself best, and he knows none of that will ever be true, but even if it was –

It wouldn’t change a damn thing because ever since he’d seen Nicklas for the first time, there had been – and – well – 

No future would eradicate the past in which he’d been in love with Nicke. 

And if he’s quite honest that will ever change too much. Can’t imagine anything powerful enough to ever change that.

The day he realizes that there will be a million changes in his life and he can’t predict a single one except the fact that Nicke will be there. In his life. Alex doesn’t know how it will be, but Nicklas will be there, like some constant he hadn’t been aware of, until it was there and seamlessly made the rest of his life arrange into an order and – 

And he lies in his bed – because of course he wakes up with this, of course, lying in his bed, and realizes this -, and all he can think of is how huge this will be.

Right now, he is still young. He knows what they think of him, and at the moment they’re excusing it still. That will change. All of his life will change, but Nicklas, no. He won’t.

Of course Nicke will change, will grow, too – but Alex isn’t scared of Nicklas changing.

He’s more scared of the fact that he can’t wait. Can’t wait to see what kind of man Nicklas will grow into, how he’ll be like. How they’ll be like, together, and how they’ll change, together, because they’re in eachother’s orbit.

Nicklas is a force of nature, of course he’ll impact Alex’ future. 

And Alex wants to say he isn’t scared of this, because nothing in this world has managed to terrify him, leaving him quaking to his bones. Nothing except for this.

Because Nicke is there, and he’ll stay there and he’ll influence him and he’ll have a power over Alex’ life and he is important, he always is. From now on there’ll never be a day Alex won’t think of him, of this – man, and he’ll think of him, and it’s so, so scary. 

Alex can protect himself easily, and no injury, no punch, nothing can quite harm him. He knows he’s better than most and he knows he can get even better. His own body will mend all injuries if he can give it time, and all punches thrown his way don’t aim at him, at him as a person – they aim at his persona, they all want to bring that public persona down. Want to dig their hands into him to see beyond that, but they don’t have any rights to him. He doesn’t care about that.

But Nicke, oh. Nicke never fell for any of that, and, as such, is the only one who managed to carefully pry their way under every single protective layer Alex knowingly or unknowingly put around himself. And now Nicke is there, and if he’d ever wanted, he could – well –

Not that Alex believes that Nicke would ever be this cruel. Nicklas is angry, and sarcastic, and strict – but never cruel. Not someone who ever spit out words to be regretted so soon afterwards.

But he could, because Alex went and put his too big heart into Nicklas’ hands and Nicke probably doesn’t even know. Or thinks it to be a joke still, who knows. 

And Alex can take these injuries, can take anything and everything negative thrown his way, but he isn’t sure he’ll be able to take even a fraction of it thrown Nicklas’ way. And it will be, if they know what Nicke means to him. They might hurt Nicklas only to get to him. 

He loves Nicke and it terrifies him with all of its power.


End file.
